I haven't felt horrible, but with a headache and nausea (stomach flipping) I didn't feel that great either. I felt as today was a haze, literally. My eyes were kind of heavy and cloudy the entire work day, but (after resting them following work) I decided that may have been caused by looking at the computer for a while. I did some editing on the church website today, and uploaded the podcast. Unfortunately, I didn't put the podcast on the website because I was distracted when a guy who had a meeting with me showed up about 10 mins early. Yep, just realizing that. It's cool though because I can do it tomorrow. I actually have a lot to do tomorrow as far as driving around. Just remembered that as well. It'll be cool though. I'll get some good time with The Lord and will get some good worship in as well. Woop! Woop! That actually just excited me. I don't really like to drive, but when I'm driving alone and can just talk to The Lord, sing, worship and hang out...yeah, I like that! It wasn't a bad work day, just hazy. I know I've said that a couple times, but it's because it's so true. The craziest thing is that all I want to do is get in the Word, and have communion with Daddy. Man, our relationship is going to new places and I can completely feel it already. I haven't felt to irritable today, but while I wass in the meeting earlier I felt like my head was going to explode. My face was SO hot! I was cold. The office got too hot later in the day though.
As I type, I am reading the Word of God and taking Holy Communion with Him. My wife is watching some show on tv fairly close to me, but I feel like I'm the only one in the room with The Lord. Ha! It actually makes me smile and feel really good. I know He's my first love. I'm crying now, but definitely not out of sadness. Just overwhelmed with vision right now. The things Daddy is showing me even as I type are unbelievable, yet I believe every Word. Partaking of the body right now (a piece of whole grain flatbread for tonight - don't judge me, you can remember Him while eating anything). The body of Christ that was broken for me. I feel a deepening within right now. Can't explain it too much. A hollowing out. A cleansing. I don't even know what's being washed away, but I feel like it's making room for something else that Daddy wants to give me. Wow! I don't understand why He loves me the way He does. It's crazy sometimes. I imagine the last supper. What were the disciples feeling that night? What was Jesus feeling? I imagine what the room looked like. I imagine the smell of the hardened clay and dirt under their feet and bottoms as they sit partaking of Christ's final meal on Earth. I capitalize Earth usually. God created it and it seems pretty important and personified. I imagine the sound of the loaf as Jesus tore His piece from it, and the taste. I can imagine how the bread felt to chew and even melting in my mouth (this could be because I'm hungry as well). I'm not really hungry, though. I really think my mouth misses chewing more than I miss eating. Eating takes a lot of time. Time that I could be in the Word, spending with my wife or friends in fellowship. Yet, it's necessary to sustain life. I get that. I sometimes wish I didn't like food as much as I do. Staying in shape would be so easy. I've already seen myself in shape so I know it's coming soon. I'm excited about that and the fact that I know God has already started changing my appetite. I desire NO meat right now. If I were to eat anything at this point it would be celery. Why am I craving raw celery? I don't dislike celery, but never really claimed to like it either. I can taste the juiciness of a tomato...I severly dislike raw tomatoes. I'm excited to see the manifestation of this appetite change. Drinking (a littlle bit of orange juice tonight - again, don't judge me folks) in honor of the Blood of the Lamb, the New Covenant, the New Testament, the New Will of God that was poured out from His body on the cross. The scene from Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ still comes to mind although I know that even as a brilliant actor and director he couldn't have portrayed the actual event NEARLY as they actually were. I know that communion is important. It's a command. It's really important to know why it is important. I'm going to be doing more reading about it in the days to come. Pretty excited about that. I'm actually just really excited about the Word of God right now. It's convicting to know that I haven't been in the Word likeI could've or should've been, but this is a time that I will get back on track. No need for redemption because I've been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb. I love to write. I'm so happy to be back at it.
Joshua 3:1 - "Then Joshua rose early in the morning; and they set out from Acacia Grove and came to the Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they crossed over."
I'm still in this verse today/tonight. It's still worth squeezing a little bit more. I'm focusing more on the 'lodged there' piece tonight. So, from reading on the Jordan a little bit (could've done and planning on doing more) I see two things: 1) The children of Israel had to cross the Jordan in order to reach the Promised Land, and 2) the Jordan was a downward flowing, descending river (rough Hebrew translation means the descender).
The way I see it is that it's our season to approach (and cross, but that's a later study) the Jordan. It's the moving body of water that represents our lowest point and separates us from God's promise for our lives. So, we rise early and head down to the water. The Lord wants us to prepare for our encounter with the Jordan though. It won't be an easy trek down to the water, but once there those of us who carry His Spirit will only have to let our feet touch the brink of the water and the waters will HALT! That's a later verse as well. It's motivating to know that the trek isn't easy, but the reward is a trip to the Promised Land! Praise God! I'm already carrying His presence so I should be just fine getting across my 'Jordan'. The Jordan was at a low point geographically. That means I have to walk down to a low point. Well, I can just about promise that some areas of my life have been their lowest during this last season. Not all of them, but some. So for those areaas, I plan on meeting up with the Promise God has for me in those areas. No matter how low. This 40-day fast is going to put me at a place that my flesh man is LOW, but I'm confident that a promise will be fulfilled at the end of this journey. I'm ready to walk down to the Jordan!
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