Day 4

I woke up this morning like I had slept for a whole day. I felt so good and full of energy. My head wasn't hurting, and that was a good thing. My stomach felt weird today. Kind of like it was digesting an air bubble. Weird, I know. I woke up at 5am to get ready for 6am prayer. After prayer I went and uploaded the podcast to the website and worked a little more a glacier graphic I was patterning after one I saw via YouTube. I decided that I was going to scrap that idea because I am going a different route with the sermon for February's GU One Night. I want to preach on the topic "He Came In Like A Wrecking Ball". I'm sure the youth will laugh, but they'll remember the message. My really 'churchy' friends might even think I've gone too far. Good. I'm a part of a royal priesthood, a peculiar people. Let them think what they want. I lost energy around the middle of the day, but it wasn't bad. It's more of the hazy/foggy feeling than actual exhaustion. It's only day 4. During prayer tonight I was completely reenergized after kneeling at the altar for a little while and worshipping The Lord. It felt great. I needed that tonight. Although I didn't have a headache today, I felt like it was closer than I wanted it to be. I have the authority over my body that God has given me, though, so I shouldn't have as many of those things happen to me anymore. I'm believing that. I don't get sick much anyway. I think it's a part of a greater testimony that I've yet to share. I'm feeling good though. As the days progress, I am proud of myself, and pray for greater strength.

Joshua 3:1 - Then Joshua rose early in the morning; and they set out from Acacia Grove and came to the Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they crossed over.

They crossed over. This is good to read and remember. Though they faced different trials, and the trip to the Jordan may not have been glorious, they still crossed over. It's good to know that they still made it. There is still hope for us. We can still cross over. The blessing to me is that there is a Promise to cross over into. That makes me feel so good. The Lord has been showing me so much out of this piece of Scripture the last few days, and I'm happy to still be chewing on this bit. I know that I'm purposed to cross over into the Promise that God has intended for me, and I'm at a place in life where I want it more than ever. I want to know what it takes to get there. My Spirit is willing, but my flesh is still fairly weak. I know that there are areas I could do better in, but I also know that I have to surrender those to The Lord in order for them to be put in order. God works in order. He loves order. I can't continue to try and have control over certain areas of my life or they'll never be put in order. It's amazing how much patience The Lord has with me. He still loves me even when I try to hold onto things that He wants. I'm getting closer to knowing what it feels like to be completey OUT of control, and fully rely on Daddy. I've never been able to do that, but it's because I haven't wanted to enough. I want to do so now. My wife just walked in the room and asked that I pray with her because she had a stomach ache and bad headache. She just started her Daniel fast today. This is nothing but the enemy attacking her body. So, I prayed. I prayed that she be healed and that her body come into line with the Word of God and His divine design. It felt good to be a husband at that moment, but I would do anything to take her discomfort away. Yeah, I'm no good with watching other people suffer. I always think that I could take on their pain and suffering, but in my imagination I would defeat it. I would be the overcomer. I have a pretty bold imagination. It's good to know that The Lord is able to do exceedingly, abundantly MORE than even my imagination. I'm strong. Much stronger than I think or portray. I have a purpose that is going to change this world. I'll look back to times like this and writings like this in awe of how much it looks like what The Lord showed me. But first. Declaration. I have to get to a place where I am declaring the things over my life that The Lord has shown me. Right now, I pretty much just dream about the things He's shown me, but I'm done with just dreaming about them. Now, I know that they don't happen overnight, but I also know that there are instructions. Just as the children of Israel and the priests received instructions from Joshua before they made it to their Promise. I need to hear those instructions clearly. I have to tune my ear even more. There are sometimes that I feel that I am extremely in tune with the voice and movement of God, but something always happens to remind me that I can do much better. That's the communication I want with Daddy. Clear. Precise. Direct. It's coming. Hopefully like a wrecking ball.